“Waiter!  This  coffee  tastes  like  cocoa!”   “I’m  sorry,  sir,  I  must have  given  you  tea.”

“Is there a word in the English language that contains all vowels?”  “Unquestionably.”

“They say that kisses are the language of love.”   “Well, speak up!”

“What speaks all the languages in the world?”  “An echo.”

‘Can you read Chinese?’  ‘Only when it’s printed in English.’

‘He speaks German like a native.’  ‘Yes, like a native Finn.’

‘You speak three languages?’  ‘Yes,  Manhattan,  Bronx  and  Brooklyn.’

‘I heard your daughter speaks  Esperanto.  Does she speak it fluently?’   ‘Just  like  a  native!’,  

‘I’m now learning Spanish, but I’m having a little trouble with my vowels.’ ‘Why don’t you see a doctor?’

What’s the use of speaking correct English? No one will understand you.

Sometimes studying languages gets ridiculous.  I know a fellow who is beginning Finnish.

Girls shouldn’t be allowed to study foreign languages. One tongue is enough for any woman.

The Chinese language only has about 15,000 words. But it’s very difficult because none of them are Englisch.

I speak eight languages.  Unfortunately I speak them all at the same time.

I speak three languages. Fair French, Good German and Great Britain.

I speak several languages but I can’t master the tongue of my wife.